For the first time, I looked in the mirror and did not recognize myself. All I saw a slut. All I saw was someone who gets used for sex and i pretend like it’s all fun and games. But I’m not okay. I don’t even know who I am anymore. I barely remember who I use to be and soon I won’t remember the girl I use to be.
The most annoying thing is that my new medication can literally make me sleep forever and it makes waking up hard. My doctor said if he makes the dosage too high that I could end up sleeping for days but currently I’m not responding to a low dosage. I still get really bad migraines and daily headaches. I wish I could figure out what is triggering my migraines. I know I’m sensitive to light and sound and looking down but I can’t figure out what foods cause my migraines.
no one understands how much I’m effected my migraines. I hate throwing up from them. I literally cannot do work. It’s gets so painful then I just cry because nothing can make them go away. it’s so irritating. I live everyday in fear that I’m going to get a really terrible migraine.
You’re so different it hurts. because I would never be friends with someone like you but I’m trapped because I care about you. You turned into a heartless monster who doesn’t care about anyone or anything. I never would of thought you would be the one. You use to be such a gentleman and that’s who I was friends with. You don’t let people in at all, your friends you consider close aren’t the norm close. It’s not okay. and all you care about yourself. It’s okay to care about yourself but there comes a point where it’s not okay and it’s at that point. I don’t even know what changed. I can’t pin point it. This bothers me almost everyday because I feel I did something or I don’t even know.
For the first time after Josh I thought I was actually maybe starting to like someone..From what I’ve seen I liked idk he was just sweet and everything and we had a lot in common then I find out he has a girlfriend. ok well maybe he shouldn’t have lead me on….
I seriously give up because after Josh I said I wouldn’t date anyone until I have my degree. That’s what I do because I can’t let my feelings get in the way of my career/passion/college again.
When I start caring for someone, I don’t ever stop. I’ll always care no matter what. No matter how much you hurt me or push me away there’s always going to be a little piece of me that cares. Even if your not there for me, I’ll always be there for you. Even if I’m mad, you need me? I’m there. I don’t care if it’s something little or something like you need to borrow money from me for bills. I’ll be there. You’re someone I never want to let go. I promise you I won’t give up on you. Because you gave up on me. I’m not going to give up on our friendship even if you don’t want it. Even if youre not my friend, I’ll always be yours. Someone who I got so close to..I just can’t let that go. You’re the first person I let in. and I can’t believe you got in..No one else has. Sometimes I wish I could take back a lot of things but getting close to you wasn’t. Because for the first time in my life I was purely happy with you, when I was dating you. I never felt happiness like I have with you. Seeing you puts me in a better mood. I’m not saying you only made me happy when we were dating. You make me happy still, I don’t know why I just am happy around you. That doesn’t mean I have feelings for you. I just feel content around you. I don’t know why..but I don’t want to lose that.